New Year – New Beginning



I’m done…

When I look at my blog I see my most recent post about Sam Pepper and wonder how long it has been since I actually posted that. And then I realize it has been a year. One year full of inactivity, non-blogginess and so many other things. For a tiny moment I am stunned and try to think of all the other things that had happened since that day I uploaded this blog entry. But was the post actually any good? Well, I can’t tell. It’s probably less worse than this entry is going to end up. But why am I even doing this to myself? I mean, I do like writing. Technically. And I do like reading. Technically. And I like photoshopping  pretentious pictures of myself. Techn– no, I actually really do like to look pretty. It’s like medicine for my self-confidence.
But honestly, why am I going through all this trouble of writing about things no one actually cares about? And isn’t it more a pain in the ass to me than anything else??


how I feel about food

Since no one is going to read this anyway, I’d rather stay completely honest here. I think the reason is very simple, which doesn’t make it any better: I guess I like the attention or the feeling of actually doing something others could potentially care about. Or I just don’t know what I want to do with my life and hope that someday I can make a living off Blog posts, Chubby-Bunny Videos and Sponsorships. Which is really, really unrealistic, but a nice thought nevertheless.

Sometimes I wonder why Blogs are so popular and why some bloggers are being taken so damn serious. I mean, god, look at me, I’m just sitting in my room and my pajama and writing about things that are on my mind.


“I’m not crazy. My reality is just different than yours.”

I don’t even know what to write about. Sometimes I imagine a lonely, cute idea wandering through the halls of my consciousness and passing by ancient portraits on walls, whose colors have faded to a pale blue and a mindless brown. the idea would look at his ancestors and point a finger towards them and say: “Hey, you weren’t Napoleon, you were just useless.” Or better:” You were NOpoleon, and no one will ever remember you and you will just rot in this dusty useless mind of that girl who thinks she’s so funny and she can make historical jokes on a stupid website no one will ever read, while she’s just so terribly embarrassing.” Yeah, that’s what every idea in my mind thinks, before it shuffles back into its dark coffin next to Edward Cullen and all other glittery vampires. Oh no wait, that’s actually a stupid idea that despite all the warnings tried to escape a stupid mind and well – actually succeeded.


This is actually cool



Weird but really great Ghibli

So maybe stupidity does pay off sometimes. Which is exactly why I am writing this blogpost today.

See, I am not a very pessimist person. Actually not at all. I tend to be the sweet nerd that is so ridiculously relatable, that maybe I’d even have a chance on the internet. But well, for that I’d actually have to start doing something. And by doing something I mean like actually DOING SOMETHING. Not just gathering ideas, but actually putting ideas into actions. So, this is why I’ve started learning coding and all that jazz and am trying to create a platform for all my useless ideas. Because please, wherever you are, whoever you are, WHYever you are: me too. I too want to be noticed, I too want to make a difference. I too want to be loved. I too want to have a unicorn. No actually I don’t, but it’s always good to say so, ’cause the internet likes itself some unicorns.

All in all: I want to stop procrastinating, since I actually finally have time to do things.


Amma gonna diiiee

Oh and to make this post more readable and also more enjoyable I’ll add some cute cat gifs here and there. I hope you don’t mind.


Hugs and Love and all the above.

Your’s truly.






10 Reasons Why Sam Pepper Can Sexually Abuse Teenage Girls

10 reasons why it is okay for people like Sam Pepper to sexually abuse Teenage Girls:

1. He is famous. He has 2.4 Million subscribers on Youtube. Who would not want to have sex with him? Do you know what a great story it would make?: “You’ll never guess who I just had sex with – non C-O-N-S-E-N-S-U-A-L-L-Y?!!! Sam Pepper!! Sooo exciting!!!!”

2. The Teenage Girl can then make a video about her Abuse-Story and the video will go viral. He is just helping her to reach her goals and become famous.

3. Have you seen his hair?! OMG I would so want to brush my fingers through those sexy waves while he is telling me to “Shut the f*ck up!”

4. Bad press is just another form of press. Celebrities need people to talk about them and scandals are a good way of doing so. It basically is his job!

5. Girls genuinely want him to notice them. He is just doing them a favour by giving them the attention they want. He makes them feel special: Not everyone is sexually abused by a youtuber!

6. They WANTED to meet him. It’s not like he forced them to come anywhere. The Teenage Girls agreed to meeting him and with that must automatically also have agreed to more.

7. He is famous.

8. He is famous.

9. He is famous.


Scandals surrounding Youtubers and their sexual contact with underaged viewers have piled up over the past year.

When I had first heard about the accusations concerning Alex Day,Luke Conard and several other Youtubers, I was –  of course – shocked. This past spring they were accused of having sexually abused viewers as well as other Youtubers. Sadly, those accusations were later proven to be true.

However this post is not about them, but about a guy (Sam Pepper) who recently has been accused of sexually harassing random girls in a video (a prank video where he “pinches” their butts). The video got a lot of criticism alongside his viewers but also Youtubers, whereafter the video was taken down. (Thanks to the fact that what once enters the internet, never really leaves it anymore: Here the link to the video:
He then made another video, in which he said that the video before was all staged and scripted and he just wanted to bring awareness to the issue of sexual harassment. In this video (link here: he also says (Quote): “At multiple events, during Meet n’ Greets, some of my viewers would grab my bum and giggle about it amongst their friends”
Yes, he really did have the nerves to make himself the victim in this whole situation and make some of his viewers feel bad for what they might have done to him! Of course it is not okay for anyone to grab anyone’s ass. But I can say that! Because I have never assaulted anyone sexually. Other than Sam Pepper: A few days later, at least three girls have stated that they themselves had been sexually abused by this same guy who felt sexually harassed BY HIS VIEWERS!!!

With his “apology video” he fell into a trap laid by himself. And the funny part about all of this:
He actually did raise awareness to sexual abuse. I am now writing about it and people are discussing it. So, I guess we have to thank Mr. Pepper for making this spicy topic so hot on the newsstand!


The three girls who have come forward (links at the end of this post), all stated that they have never wanted to say something because they were afraid of what people might think, but finally took courage to do so. Although I’ve never been a victim of sexual assault myself – and am so thankful for that! – I do believe that it must be terrifying to talk to others about the experiences: Not only would I probably try to forget everything as fast as possible, I would probably also feel like I was the one who should be ashamed. I was the trigger, I did something morally unacceptable. People could judge and talk about me. I would probably be afraid, that I have made certain mistakes and through those really am somehow responsible for what happened and that it’s all my fault. And exactly this is the reason why so many abusers are still on the run and are never held accountable for their actions. If you are a victim of sexual abuse, it doesn’t matter if you think it was nothing and you don’t want to bother others with your minor issues – if it bothers you, and if you were forced into doing something you did not want: IT WAS SEXUAL ASSAULT!

I had hoped that the scandals that had resulted past spring were just an exception and all sexual abusers amongst Youtubers were outed. And that now everything was said and we could continue strolling through our happy litte Youtube-verse. How naive. Sexual abuse is not exceptional. It can happen anywhere, anytime – to anyone. I am so happy about how many Youtubers have actually responded to this scandal and are trying to do something against it. It shows that they are not only networks, or businesses which only care about profit and money, but independent human beings who care about making the world a little bit better and decrease worldsuck….

I do not want to talk about Youtube Culture in this post, since this is not really new anymore. But I do think, it is important to remind people that we all have a certain responsibility in this world. Some more and some less. But we all do.

Now, I normally am not that kind of person who would hate on a Youtuber or insult him in the comments section. The great thing about Youtube is, that it’s so widespread. If you don’t like a genre, you just don’t click it. If you don’t like a Youtuber, you just don’t watch his videos. It’s as simple as that: Just leave, there are plenty of other things you can watch! No need to be rude.
But there comes a time where it’s too much. Sam Pepper can not just be unpunished for what he has done and continue making thousands and thousands of dollars with his prank videos, which is why I think that people like him should leave Youtube and find themselves another job, where they are not role models for teenagers.

10. Maybe he now finally gets banned from Youtube!

Here some links that might interest you:

The girls who have come forward:

And a BUZZFEED news article:

Meghan Tonjes made a parody to Sam’s video:

BriBry’s video about Sam Pepper:

LaciGreen’s video about it:


My thoughts on Margo Roth Spiegelman and Cara Delevingne

Just so we’re clear: I did not cry watching TFIOS! No, I didn’t. Not one tear? Nope. Nada

But let’s focuse on things yet to come. Because who wants to stick with the past (how heartbreaking it may be) when there is so much to be looking forward to!
That’s right, Nerdfighters: Paper Towns is in the works!… or the papermachines…

I’m not gonna talk about the things that you probably all know already but want to focus more on the newest news:
After having Isaac.. oh wait, Quentin – cast for a long time now, they’ve finally revealed the future Margo Roth Spiegelman: Cara Delivnge…Delevinge…Delesomething! Well, basically the number one model in existance.


and her:


oh.. and her:

While the last picture is rather charming and makes her really cool, I can not get over the fact that I’m a little bit upset about this choice.

John Green has already expressed his thoughts  on her in 140 letters and seems to be very very happy with the casting:

Screen Shot 2014-09-23 at 22.58.01

But here is why I don’t like her – yet:
The great thing about Green’s books has always been how relatable the characters always were. He tries to create real personalities – which also seemed to be influenced by John himself –  which makes them even so much more real – Because John wasn’t the popular guy, he was just like us: normal. And so are his characters.

Here a picture of John to give you a picture of him if you’ve never heard of him:john-green-hostile

Paper Towns was the fourth of John’s books I’ve read. Oh and I’m just going to insert a tiny fun fact in here: I actually read it on personal recommendation by Nat Wolff (a.k.a. future Quentin)!! I know, soooo cool!!!!! (But that’s a whole other story ;D)

So I read it, and I have to say it was the best book I’ve read of him. I fell in love with it right away. I loved the storyline, the development, the more than hilarious characters, the boldness and most of all: how much it all made sense in the end. And I would lie, when I say I did not relate with Margo. (I still think they should’ve cast me!)

Margo was not perfect – she had curves and edges, all those imperfections! (Not to quote a legendary (ha..ha) chart song here..)

She had curves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Such a huge part of the book, was how people described Margo Roth Spiegelman. Almost every character had a specific way of describing her. Margo Roth Spiegelman was not just a name, but a commitment to adventure and fun and strength and life.

There were so many hints in the book on how she did not have the perfect body, was rather small and curvy. Somewhere in the book Ben even says that she’s “not even that pretty”! Which makes her so much better. It’s her charisma that blows Q away and makes her look beautiful.

In the beginning we meet this confident girl who is so spontaneous and fun and you’d love to hang out with. But the more we find out about her, the more we find out about the real Margo – about a girl with so much insecurity and so many doubts about herself and society. She doesn’t want to lose weight, which doesn’t mean that she never stood in front of a mirror and thought about how ugly she finds herself.

She is hurt, and has been hurt so many times, and with that there is this beautiful bubble surrounding her and protecting her from people hurting her again.

Everything is perfect, as long as you don’t come near me!

This is what Margo was for me, not the perfect girl that falls in love with a nerd and makes him popular.

Paper Towns was for me about two people hiding in a shell and finding their confidence in each other and helping each other to break free.

This character, Margo Roth Spiegelman, means so much to me because she is so incredibly relatable. She does not want anyone to know about her problems, because she thinks she is supposed to be strong and she’d have a reputation to uphold.

She wanted to let go of the life she had, she wanted to escape all of this. She thought she’d be free as soon as no one knew who she was and she could invent herself all over again.

After all of this, I hope you understand why it is so hard for me to accept that a supermodel is supposed to portray this character. A tall, very very skinny, beautiful girl who – with all of this – practically embodies the word “perfect” and the business that makes us “normal” girls – feel like crap.

We, normal girls try to satisfy the expectations society holds upon us. We are afraid without a thigh gap we are worthless and will never get a boyfriend. And why? Because we see people like Cara on magazine covers having the perfect life.

But of course we know it’s all fake and photoshopped and that being a model is actually really hard and painful. Of course we know.. but this doesn’t make it less influental.

And this is what ruins Margo for me. People liked her because she was not trying to live up to all those expectations – or so they thought…

Margo wanted to oppose all of this, all those paper magazines and those paper people.

And now she – out of all of them – should be potrayed by exactly one of those?

Although I have to say that a lot of Cara’s success is due to her personality, it’s still not enough for me. She has to do some great acting to convince me.

Now, I do not want to be a hater. Like I’ve already said, John Green probably knows Margo better than all of us, and when he says she’s Margo, she is Margo.

I think I just have to be fair: Who didn’t hate Jennifer Lawrence when she was casted as Katniss?! I did. And now, I love her to death!

All we can do is hope for the best!


The Start of Something New

backpackSo, my dear Ladies and Gentlemen, this is my blog.

I have to tell you, it was quite a journey to finally arrive at this point of blogging where I can actually write something. For me as a person who is not very good at decisions, setting up a blog where you are practically forced to decide on the future of a site in only one step is pretty nerve-wracking.

To be honest, I was very spontaneous about all of this.

I was actually trying to convince my very talented friend to start a blog herself, and while I was casually doing some research for her on the Internet, i may or may not have casually come on and casually just created a blog myself.

That’s how a good project with a good base always starts: by thoroughly thinking and not simply clicking.

So however, after entering my e-mail I had to decide on a username. Great, this is where the easy part stopped.

After things like: „Melissalovespizza“ and „Melissa123234“ and other oh-so-brilliant-ideas. I just stuck with the one I created a while ago and since then use everywhere.

So, there I was on the next page of wordpress where someone was trying to sell me a lot of things I had no idea about, but somehow seemed to be very important and would give me alot of assets and a „better blogging experience“.

No. But thank you!

However, the hardest part was yet to come: Suddenly, I also needed a name for my thoroughly thought through project.

This was a huge step. I mean it had already been hard enough to find something as simple as a username, but now I had to face my worst fear of all times: Having a totally uncool name for a totally uncool blog – which therefore makes me totally uncool!

No, really it was hard.

I wanted one of those great names which give you the impression that this blog is going to be life- and worldchanging. I wanted one of those!

So I sat there, in front of my computer, thinking.

And thinking.

And eventually singing.

But mosly thinking.

Well, since you are reading this on my already existing blog, you probably will have realized that there was no such thing as a stroke of genius.

Which is why I – again – stuck with the simple invitation to hug me(lissa). (For all of you who did not get the pun.)

But life didn’t get easier after that. I was welcomed by alot of different themes I could choose from, to make my beautiful customized blog. If I would have the money for it.

At least 50% was not free and with that, not really an option.

I have to say, I was kind of disappointed by the lack of colors in all of the themes. But I guess I have to get used to a life without colors. I am almost an adult now, so I guess WordPress is actually telling me to grow up.

So this was it, I guess. My story how I arrived here and wrote this masterpiece of first-post, where I decided not to introduce myself or my blog, but instead discribe you in way too much detail how I struggled with something as easy as WordPress.

Have a nice day!.. Oh, And I recommend watching High School Musical again, it’s so worth it!